Phil Donahue: ‘Love, Listening and Lust’ Secret to 44 Year Marriage to Marlo Thomas
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas had one of the longest-lasting marriages in Hollywood. After 44 years wed and almost 47 as a couple, the late celebrity talk show host and Thomas revealed that they had a three word secret to keeping their love alive.
The three ‘Ls’ were the secret of marital bliss for Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas
In a May 2023 interview with People Magazine, celebrating her 43rd anniversary, Marlo Thomas said the three Ls were her and Phil Donahue’s secret to marital bliss: “love, listening, and lust.”
“I call it the three L’s. Love, listening, and lust,” Thomas shared. “Those are the three L’s.”
She continued, “You have to listen, and then you’ll know what the other person is really thinking and going through. You have to love each other. And without lust, you don’t have anything.”
Thomas elaborated further on her theory in an interview with E! News, “I’d rather be making love or having a good sweet conversation, or snuggle up and watch television. So you need to remind yourself of the love you have for the other person.”
She continued, “And the lust is—I mean, it’s fun to say it, but it really is an important part of your marriage. It’s important when people talk about date nights. It’s to remember that there’s a wonderful personal, physical relationship that you have with your spouse that you don’t have with anybody else on earth.”
How did Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas meet?
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas met when she was a guest on his daytime talk show in 1977. In a 2015 Facebook post, Thomas shared her version of the events of that fateful day.
“Phil and I met on his talk show, Donahue, in 1977. It was instant chemistry. He flirted, I giggled, and his TV audience watched us fall in love,” she wrote.
In a book the couple wrote about marriage, What Makes a Marriage Last, Thomas compared their first meeting to a shampoo commercial, “where everything suddenly goes into slow motion,” as reported by E! News. In 1980, they married in front of 35 guests.
“You have to listen to each other,” Thomas told E! News about the couple’s marriage. “It took me about 10 years to figure out that mostly what Phil wanted from me were not solutions, which I was too happy to give.”
She continued, “In fact, he just wanted someone to hear what he had to say.” Thomas explained that Donahue told her, “I just want you to listen.’ I said, ‘Wow, well, that’s easy.'”
How did Phil Donahue revolutionize the talk show industry?
Phil Donahue revolutionized the talk show industry by allowing audience participation with guests. Prior, talk shows were just about the host and the guests interacting with each other.
On Donahue, which ran for 29 years, the journalist was fearless in pushing the buttons of his guests and audience members. He was known for leaning into hot topics other talk shows wouldn’t touch, including discussions with spiritual leaders, doctors, homemakers, activists, entertainers, or politicians.
Phil Donahue was 88 years old at the time of his death. He is survived by Marlo Thomas and children Michael, Kevin, Daniel, Mary Rose, and the late James.
