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The songs of Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars helped define the music of the 2010s and beyond. A duet between the two legends should have been the best thing since sliced bread. Instead, it’s about as good as the moldy sourdough that’s rotting in the back of your fridge. Of course, all disasters deserve a good autopsy, so here’s a look at why “Die with a Smile On” fails so hard.

Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ ‘Die with a Smile On’ hearkens back to ‘Grenade’

Mars once made a song about loving someone so much that you’d be willing to die for them. That track was called “Grenade,” and there’s a reason why you don’t hear it as much at the mall anymore. It has a loopy, lyrical premise that doesn’t work. Anyone can say that they’d die for someone, but unless you are in a war zone, that sort of talk is cheap.

In contrast, “Die with a Smile On” is about wanting to be with someone you love when you die. That’s a better sentiment than the one in “Grenade,” but it’s still awkwardly morbid. Writing a love song about death is tricky, and if Gaga and Mars were going to pull that off, they should have written something less middle-of-the-road. “Bloody Mary,” Gaga’s Gothic pop ballad of Mary Magdalene’s supposed love for Jesus Christ, works so much better than “Die with a Smile On” because it embraces its own darkness.

‘Die with a Smile On’ is deathly boring

The other reason “Die with a Smile On” fails is because its instrumental has all the flavor of saltine crackers. It’s the sort of soft rock that Debby Boone would find boring. At some points, it slouches toward Mars’ signature R&B, but it never rises above the level of disposable 1970s radio cheese.

Why did “Die with a Smile On” have to be this way? There were a million ways the two stars could have merged their sounds. With her song “Do What U Want,” Gaga proved she can write smooth R&B like Mars. In addition, Mars has some dance tracks in his catalog that aren’t too far from Gaga’s signature sound. The pair’s decision to make a soft-rock silly love song when they could have done anything else will always remain baffling.

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What Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars think of each other

In 2024, Page Six obtained a press release where the two stars explained themselves. “Bruno and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other and were talking about collaborating,” Gaga said. “I was finishing up my own album in Malibu, and one night after a long day, he asked me to come to his studio to hear something he was working on. It was around midnight when I got there, and I was blown away when I heard what he had started making.”

Gaga expressed her admiration for Mars. “Bruno’s talent is beyond explanation,” she said. “His musicianship and vision is next level. There’s no one like him.”

Mars had similar praise for Gaga. “She’s an icon, and she makes this song magical. I’m so excited for everyone to hear it.”

Mars and Gaga like each other but that doesn’t mean anyone has to like their song.